Co-Regulation Blog

What is “Safe Enough?” Safety is Not All or Nothing
Safety is Not an all or nothing experience – There are degrees and varieties of safety. Our bodies and minds are fine tuned to sense safety, in all its different varieties. We may feel safe enough to enjoy a meal with a new friend, or safe enough to let down and cry with someone we

What is Your Go-to Regulation Style?
Meeting the Demands of Life with Self-Regulation, Solo-Regulation, Solitary Regulation, and Co-Regulation The other day I was questioned about “solo regulation”. What is solo regulation really? Do we mean “solitary”? This got me thinking about different flavors of self-regulation. We all have our favorite “go-to” ways of regulating ourselves. What are yours? Solitary Self-Regulation: Solitary,

To Heal, Re-engage Your Regulation System: The Potency of Feedback Loops for Resilience (Part 1)
So much of what keeps us alive and healthy in our bodies is unconscious and yet essential. Polyvagal theory and Body Up Co-Regulation offer pathways for adjusting our unconscious autonomic functions intentionally, increasing health and resilience. Threat responses narrow our focus to what the nervous system deems essential for survival, often at the expense of

Honey, Let’s Make a Contract
Good Agreements Build Relationship Stability Stable co-regulatory relationships expand our bandwidth for facing life. AND: Most of us want long-term romantic partnerships, while actually experiencing romance as a revolving door of short-term partnerships. Master couples therapist and author Stan Tatkin* proposes building good contracts into partnerships for more relational stability. I agree and I know

IFS and Psychedelics: Two Essential Points from Dick Schwartz
Dick Schwartz’s approach to therapy in general and psychedelics in particular has been very helpful to me over the past decade. I want to share two of his most useful points from the Summit on Psychedelic Assisted Psychotherapy. One point is about the necessity to engage with protector parts in our preparation work: Do not

Healing PTSD with Psychedelics and Embodiment
There are many reasons to take psychedelics. Healing, creativity, spiritual growth, developing group minds, and cooperation, to name a few. One speaker at the recent Psychedelic Assisted Psychotherapy Summit mentioned how Silicon Valley entrepreneurs believe they “need to be microdosing just to keep pace with the other innovators in tech”. My interest is in more