Safety is Not an all or nothing experience – There are degrees and varieties of safety. I have noticed that my reaction to feeling unsafe is primitive, and strong, and fast. If I do not slow down and do an updated reality check, I go into young, automatic behaviors like blame or defensiveness or freezy […]
What is “Safe Enough?” Safety is Not All or Nothing Read More »
Meeting the Demands of Life with Self-Regulation, Solo-Regulation, Solitary Regulation, and Co-Regulation The other day I was questioned about “solo regulation”. What is solo regulation really? Do we mean “solitary”? This got me thinking about different flavors of self-regulation. We all have our favorite “go-to” ways of regulating ourselves. What are yours? Solitary Self-Regulation: Solitary,
What is Your Go-to Regulation Style? Read More »
So much of what keeps us alive and healthy in our bodies is unconscious and yet essential. Polyvagal theory and Body Up Co-Regulation offer pathways for adjusting our unconscious autonomic functions intentionally, increasing health and resilience. Threat responses narrow our focus to what the nervous system deems essential for survival, often at the expense of
Good Agreements Build Relationship Stability Stable co-regulatory relationships expand our bandwidth for facing life. AND: Most of us want long-term romantic partnerships, while actually experiencing romance as a revolving door of short-term partnerships. Master couples therapist and author Stan Tatkin* proposes building good contracts into partnerships for more relational stability. I agree and I know
Honey, Let’s Make a Contract Read More »
Dick Schwartz’s approach to therapy in general and psychedelics in particular has been very helpful to me over the past decade. I want to share two of his most useful points from the Summit on Psychedelic Assisted Psychotherapy. One point is about the necessity to engage with protector parts in our preparation work: Do not
IFS and Psychedelics: Two Essential Points from Dick Schwartz Read More »
There are many reasons to take psychedelics. Healing, creativity, spiritual growth, developing group minds, and cooperation, to name a few. One speaker at the recent Psychedelic Assisted Psychotherapy Summit mentioned how Silicon Valley entrepreneurs believe they “need to be microdosing just to keep pace with the other innovators in tech”. My interest is in more
Healing PTSD with Psychedelics and Embodiment Read More »
Body Up Co-regulation depends on Embodiment because we do it body-to-body. Regulation from the body up uses the body to influence, and effect change at the nervous system level. The pathway we are exercising is from the body up towards the NS/brainstem and brain. (Primarily the afferent fibers of the vagus nerve.) A simple definition
Why Does Embodiment Matter? Read More »
What are the costs of going emotionally flat? I lose my sense of empowerment, engagement, and vitality. Many of us can get a little flat in our affect and engagement, and cruise onward without noticing. We function ok. Others may not notice. We feel “fine,” and tell ourselves that we are fine. But, flat is
Don’t Stay Emotionally Flat! Read More »
There are only two things that overwhelm our nervous systems: complexity and intensity. Intensity, being intense, is fairly obvious. Complexity, on the other hand, can sneak up on us. Today I want to talk about complexity. For instance, when I have too many decisions to make or too many people to get back to, it
Complexity and Co-Regulation Read More »
Life is like an onion, you peel off the layers and sometimes you weep – or rage or collapse! And some things are harder to handle alone than others. When you are sad and vulnerable and ashamed, it takes an awful lot of energy to
More Efficient Meltdowns Read More »
