Good Agreements Build Relationship Stability Stable co-regulatory relationships expand our bandwidth for facing life. AND: Most of us want long-term romantic partnerships, while actually experiencing romance as a revolving door of short-term partnerships. Master couples therapist and author Stan Tatkin* proposes building good contracts into partnerships for more relational stability. I agree and I know […]
Honey, Let’s Make a Contract Read More »
Dick Schwartz’s approach to therapy in general and psychedelics in particular has been very helpful to me over the past decade. I want to share two of his most useful points from the Summit on Psychedelic Assisted Psychotherapy. One point is about the necessity to engage with protector parts in our preparation work: Do not
IFS and Psychedelics: Two Essential Points from Dick Schwartz Read More »
There are many reasons to take psychedelics. Healing, creativity, spiritual growth, developing group minds, and cooperation, to name a few. One speaker at the recent Psychedelic Assisted Psychotherapy Summit mentioned how Silicon Valley entrepreneurs believe they “need to be microdosing just to keep pace with the other innovators in tech”. My interest is in more
Healing PTSD with Psychedelics and Embodiment Read More »
Body Up Co-regulation depends on Embodiment because we do it body-to-body. Regulation from the body up uses the body to influence, and effect change at the nervous system level. The pathway we are exercising is from the body up towards the NS/brainstem and brain. (Primarily the afferent fibers of the vagus nerve.) A simple definition
Why Does Embodiment Matter? Read More »
What are the costs of going emotionally flat? I lose my sense of empowerment, engagement, and vitality. Many of us can get a little flat in our affect and engagement, and cruise onward without noticing. We function ok. Others may not notice. We feel “fine,” and tell ourselves that we are fine. But, flat is
Don’t Stay Emotionally Flat! Read More »
There are only two things that overwhelm our nervous systems: complexity and intensity. Intensity, being intense, is fairly obvious. Complexity, on the other hand, can sneak up on us. Today I want to talk about complexity. For instance, when I have too many decisions to make or too many people to get back to, it
Complexity and Co-Regulation Read More »
Life is like an onion, you peel off the layers and sometimes you weep – or rage or collapse! And some things are harder to handle alone than others. When you are sad and vulnerable and ashamed, it takes an awful lot of energy to
More Efficient Meltdowns Read More »
I developed Body Up! Co-Regulation as a tool to heal trauma, build safe, sturdy relationships and stop oppression. It was sexism I was fighting at first, but the dynamics of oppression are the same for classism, racism, sexism, ablebodiedism… In my thinking, oppression is always rooted in misuse of power in hierarchical relationships. When we
Embodiment, Co-Regulation and Oppression Read More »
In a dysregulated family, the hero saves the day, which often needs saving. The child who takes on this role usually does it at a young age with realistic desperation and a sense of compulsion. They learn to cope with a lot and look like they are handling it fine. The hero role often persists
The Hero Habit Feeds Oppression Read More »
The pictures are exaggerated, but they give the feel. What I most want people to learn is how to have collaborative, peer relationships. So, as a co-regulatory therapist, or group leader, I put my computer camera up high enough that I am not looking down on people. If you want to be the authority, look
Camera Angles for Co-Regulation Read More »
